Edible Retreat: "Corporate Animals" conceptually promising but winds up being a toothless misfire

Corporate Animals (2019)

85 min.

Release Date: September 20, 2019 (Limited & VOD) 

“Corporate Animals” might have been pitched as “The Office” meets “The Descent,” and that shorthand would seem like it could have nailed something sharper and less shaggy as satire. Director Patrick Brice (2017’s “Creep 2”) and writer Sam Bain (2010's "Four Lions”) do have a morbidly clever premise and a solidly assembled cast with crack comic timing, but the film is only ever sporadically amusing and never seems to find a momentum to sustain itself for even a brief 85 minutes.

Lucy Vanderton (Demi Moore) is the tough, egomaniacal CEO of Incredible Edible Cutlery, a start-up company whose mission statement is to rid the planet of disposable plastic cutlery with the edible kind. Aided by extreme sports guide Brandon (Ed Helms), the company embarks on a team-building retreat in the New Mexico desert. When Brandon takes them spelunking, Lucy demands they take the advanced route into the caves. Of course, once all members are deep into the cave system, an earthquake occurs and triggers a cave-in, sealing off any potential exit. As several days pass, the only learning experience that the team will have is realizing that they won’t be above a little cannibalism if it means staying alive.

As an ensemble black comedy, “Corporate Animals” has an axe to grind about corporate culture outside of the workplace, but the character quirks actually outweigh any of the supposed satire and irony. Jokes about affirmative action and sexual harassment—“Weinstein” becomes a verb here—just aren’t as subversive or funny as writer Sam Bain thinks they are. One character also references 1993’s “Alive” as that “Ethan Hawke movie where those people get trapped in the Andes and then they have to eat their friends” just to foreshadow where the story is headed. The characters are a diverse, cartoonish bunch: Lucy's assistants, Jess (Jessica Williams) and Freddie (Karan Soni), are both promised positions as vice president; Suzy (Nasim Pedrad) is scared of everything but not sleeping with someone from work, like May (Jennifer Kim); and Gloria’s (Martha Kelly) lupus is worsening. In the film's weirdest touches, Freddie uses his superfandom of Gary Sinise in “CSI: NY” to improve the morale, and intern Aidan (Calum Worthy) begins hallucinating Britney Spears singing out of his grotesque leg injury that’s on the verge on gangrene and then brings an extra source of light with his “wank band,” where his arm is constantly in motion. 

Demi Moore relishes the unlikable role of horrible boss Lucy, but Jessica Williams (2019’s “Booksmart”) is closer to the lead here as the smart, underappreciated Jess, while Karan Soni (2018's "Deadpool 2") earns some laughs as the emasculated Freddie. The sly standout, though, is stand-up comic Martha Kelly (FX’s “Baskets”), a deadpan hoot as Gloria who plans on writing a will that will grant certain co-workers to eat her butt cheek after she dies. With plenty of conceptual promise and a cast that's game for anything, “Corporate Animals” just winds up being a toothless misfire. 

Grade: C