"Night Teeth" a slick romp that never cranks into high gear

Night Teeth (2021)

Part of the streamer’s “Netflix & Chill” line-up this Halloween, “Night Teeth” is a slick vampiric romp that never cranks into high gear. It gets the expository world-building lore out of the way, establishing an intriguing germ of an idea that wants to rival the "Underworld" franchise. In Los Angeles, there’s been an upholding truce between humans and vampires; the latter must live in secret, not feed on the unwilling, and never enter the neighborhood of Boyle Heights without permission. Of course, those rules need to be broken, or else there’d be no movie. Unfortunately, the “Night Teeth” we get never truly takes off as an all-nighter between two sexy vampires and their human chauffeur should. 

Jorge Lendeborg Jr. (2018’s “Love, Simon”) at least makes a mark, leading the way with charisma and likability as Los Angeles college student Benny Perez, who would rather make music than stay awake in class. He lives with his Abuela (Marlene Forte) in Boyle Heights, which Benny doesn’t know is off-limits to vampires — or that vampires are real, for that matter. When his older half-brother Jay (Raul Castillo), whose girlfriend is taken by the local vampires, needs someone to cover driving for his chauffeur gig, Benny jumps at the chance. Benny looks the part and plays it off that he is Jay, rolling up to the affluent house of socialite Zoe (Lucy Fry) and picking up both her and best friend Blaire (Debby Ryan) to go party-hopping with a list of addresses before sunrise. Blaire, the sweeter of the two, takes more of a liking to Benny than Zoe, which helps because, as it turns out, the two women are vampires doing the bidding of Victor (Alfie Allen), Zoe’s boyfriend, and eliminating all of their L.A. competition. 

Directed by Adam Randall (2019’s surprisingly clever “I See You”) and written by first-timer Brent Dillon, “Night Teeth” plays like a frolicsome action-horror riff on Michael’s Mann’s “Collateral” — just clone Tom Cruise into two hungry, seductive creatures of the night ready to paint the city crimson-red. It bleeds glimmers of flashy, neon-lit visual flair, but everything else is often dry of the energy this underwhelming diversion needed. From the first few moments of exposition, the movie thinks it’s being cute, joking how books and movies about vampires have gotten “most of the details wrong.” This putdown would work if the movie were actually interested in overthrowing expectations rather than playing right into them. 

Lucy Fry and Debby Ryan are having fun and game to play ancient bloodsuckers masquerading around as party girls who get what they want. They have the comic timing, but they’re also let down by weak material. Being underserved by the script extends to most of the cast, including Raul Castillo, who elevates his underdeveloped role as Benny’s vampire-hunting half-brother with presence alone. The biggest tease of all is having Megan Fox and Sydney Sweeney for one night of shooting to play Beverly Hills vamp bosses Grace and Eva. They look great, and it’s fun hearing Jennifer Check talk about eating boys again, but they’re treated as window dressing and given quick, bloodless exits off-screen.

It’s clear “Night Teeth” just wants to be a fun and fast lark, but it’s not funny or exciting enough for that. It has fleeting moments, like Benny’s wish-fulfillment of getting into a club ahead of some snarky classmates, Benny having his back turned as Zoe and Blaire take care of business, and a last-call visit with wild-card Rocko (played by an uncharacteristically weird Alexander Ludwig). “Night Teeth” doesn’t totally bite, and maybe that’s part of the problem that could be course-corrected in the promised sequel. It’s like a nocturnal Friday snack that’s just a lot of empty calories without that special sauce.

Grade: C

Netflix is releasing “Night Teeth” (107 min.) to stream on October 20, 2021.