"Christmas Bloody Christmas" a grungy, blood-drenched, stylishly festive slasher for the holidays

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

“The Terminator” in a Santa suit! That right there might as well be the pitch for “Christmas Bloody Christmas,” a grungy, blood-drenched, and stylishly festive alt-holiday slasher from indie horror filmmaker Joe Begos. Restless without being frenetic, the movie keeps the party energy going and makes the mayhem special with practical effects. It’s no less dark and violent than 1984’s notorious “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” but less disturbing and somehow more fun with a chaser of profane humor.

Foul-mouthed record store owner Tori (an awesome Riley Dandy) just wants to get high, get drunk on whiskey, and get laid with a Tinder date. Instead, she spends the night with her flirty employee, Robbie (Sam Delich). Meanwhile, a state-of-the-art, military-grade animatronic RoboSanta+ (played by teddy-bear actor Abraham Benrubi) at a toy store along the town’s main drag gets recalled and goes rogue with a fireman’s axe. Do you think this quiet, snow-swept town will go to shit? Does Santa live at the North Pole?

“Christmas Bloody Christmas” could have been just a fun idea that was stretched thin, but at a sweet-spot 87 minutes, it doesn’t have time to really wear out its welcome. Like his previous effort—2019’s “Bliss,” which was impressive in its scuzzy insanity but a bit of a grating assault on the senses—writer-director Joe Begos knows how to direct the hell out of a small production. Shooting on crisp 16mm film, he brings real specificity and atmosphere to his locations, particularly Tori’s grimy, neon-soaked store and the seasonally decked-out main drag of this familiar small town. Begos also expertly uses a lot of cross-cutting between Santa’s rampage and Tori’s shenanigans with Robbie; the biggest build-up is an axe to a neighbor’s back cut with Robbie proving Tori wrong about his cunnilingus skills. The second half of the film is a ridiculously protracted chase, and even that is a complete feature. 

One will either be in or out from the first half-hour. As Begos’ hard-edged characters are wont to be, they are as cuddly as a cactus. Ordinarily, a lot of “fuck”-filled dialogue might feel like lazy, gratuitous din as it often does in Rob Zombie World. Here, it just seems natural to how these people talk that it’s almost endearing. As a bonus, Tori and Robbie’s walking-and-talking, “Before Fucking Sunrise”-type banter leads to a conversation about Blumhouse movies, Bob Clark’s two Christmas movies, and a horror sequel questionnaire where our opinionated heroine has some bold tastes (shout out to “Pet Sematary II” and “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2”). 

Never biting off more than it can chew with its low-budget indie roots, “Christmas Bloody Christmas” takes itself seriously enough, but it’s a lot of unstoppable fun in the name of an ‘80s slasher movie. As Tori, Riley Dandy is a firecracker with a natural charisma and screen presence; this “final girl” may swear like a sailor and drink like a fish, but her directness and confidence make her a likable, plucky heroine worth following rather than despicable or annoying. Other genre familiars show up, including Jeff Daniel Phillips, Jeremy Gardner, and Graham Skipper, and they may (or may not) make it against RoboSanta+. Staunch horror fans will want to cozy up with some whiskey and watch “Santa” slay.

Grade: B

Shudder and RLJE Films released “Christmas Bloody Christmas” (87 min.) in select theaters and on Shudder on December 9, 2022.