"Buddy Games" an obnoxious, dull, smug, infantile, tone-deaf sausage party

Buddy Games (2020)

It’s not a rotten shame that Josh Duhamel chose to make a sausage party for his directorial debut. It's a rotten shame that it had to be the brain-dead, irredeemable “Buddy Games.” Here is a depressingly unfunny dudes-will-be-dudes romp that could have been called “Barstool Sports: The Movie.” Duhamel and his game cast all look like they had a blast making it, while the audience watching feels like their invitation to have fun got lost in the mail. Though it is assembled like a real movie where actors are blocked and the camera catches motion, watching “Buddy Games” hurts. It’s obnoxious. It’s dull. It’s smug. It’s infantile. It’s tone-deaf. 

Never getting past the idea stage and hoping for the best, “Buddy Games” really does look like Josh Duhamel and co-writers Bob Schwartz and Jude Weng wrote a treatment for a script and got the cameras rolling right away. Duhamel stars as Bob, the millionaire leader to his group of buddies, insomuch that they call him “The Bobfather.” After a falling-out that has left wild card Shelly (Dan Bakkedahl) without both testicles and on suicide watch, Bob reunites the gang to compete in the “Buddy Games,” a parade of physical and mental challenges, like a Tough Mudder with a corndog-eating contest in there somewhere. There’s tanning-bed business owner Zane (James Roday), struggling Hollywood actor Durfy (Dax Shepard), doctor Doc (Kevin Dillon), and schmuck Bender (Nick Swardson), who has no job and lives in his van. The crux of the story is paint-balling a buddy’s gonads that would change their relationships for years to come, so hopefully reinstating the games will bring them all close again.

Shooting for crude, free-wheeling anarchy, “Buddy Games” just works up a sweat and shits the bed with bodily functions and fluids, “tea bagging,” “ball taps,” and a nasty fight with a possum. These guys even take a trip to the old watering hole, The Spread Eagle Bar & Grill, with a challenge: charm a lady who will buy them a drink and hit the dance floor with an entire laxative bottle in their system. After one of them fixes piña coladas mixed with semen for the rest of the group, the film wants the friends to then bury the hatchet and get in touch with their feelings. Mental illness that has put Shelly in a mental ward is completely downplayed to an irresponsible degree, proving that competing in the Buddy Games is all he needed to make himself feel much better. Where are the stakes? Where is the decency? The fun? Not even a blooper reel can change our minds that we had a good time.

“Buddy Games” never rises above the gross, stupid, bottom-shelf maturity level of a frat bro. Jerks, losers, or both, none of these guys are very appealing, root-worthy, or capable of learning anything. Not making a single woman a fully realized character is not an injustice in every movie, but it is when your movie hates women. How else to explain a scene where Durfy shows his pals a pro-female Marine commercial he shot, only to be given grief by most of them for the commercial coming off progressive and minimizing their manhood. The women here are either sluts, bitches, or come across as horny nags who should let their men repeat the good old days rather than settle down and act like a grown-ass adult. Olivia Munn seriously deserves better than this thankless role as Bob’s girlfriend Tiffany, who wants the guy to propose after five years, but she actually exits with her dignity. Making one almost miss the assholes from 2018’s “Tag,” the douchebag buddies in “Buddy Games” are no buddies of mine. “Grown Ups 2” also just redeemed itself. 

Grade: F

Saban Films is releasing “Buddy Games” (96 min.) into theaters November 20, 2020 before going to On Demand, Digital and DVD on November 24, 2020.