"The 355" watchable for the cast but pretty disposable

The 355 (2022)

Universal Pictures must have seen “The 355” as their next “Bourne” franchise — just make it with international female badasses. With Diane Kruger, Penélope Cruz, Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, and (though given the shortest shrift) Bingbing Fan, the main draw is this first-rate cast of talented, versatile women. It then feels like a missed opportunity on writer-director Simon Kinberg (2019’s “Dark Phoenix”) and co-writer Theresa Rebeck’s part that these actresses are sold short, being saddled by a bog-standard, underwritten screenplay. Most of them seem to be doing their own stunts, but what’s frustrating is that no one gets much of a character.

Getting this movie off the ground as a producer and assembling this wish list of actresses, Jessica Chastain wears multiple wigs (literally), also starring as laser-focused, businesslike CIA agent Mason “Mace” Brown. With there being a dangerous hard drive wanted by a dull baddie (Jason Flemyng) in Bogota, Mace’s mission takes her to Paris, where she and her partner/former flame, Nick Fowler (Sebastian Stan), pose as newlyweds. There, they must track down DNI agent Luis (Edgar Ramírez, rendered useless here), who now possesses the McGuffin-y doohickey. When she’s betrayed and the electronic device ends up getting intercepted by fierce German agent Marie (Diane Kruger), Mace recruits former M16 ally, London cyber-security expert Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o). A “normal person” also gets dragged into this mess, and it’s Luis’ friend, Colombian psychologist Graciela (Penélope Cruz), who has a husband and two sons at home. From Morocco to Shanghai, this new team must play a globe-trotting game of keep-away and find the package that could begin World War III.

“The 355” gets its title after the code name of the Patriots’ first female spy during the American Revolution (which gets explained in a single line late in the film). Conceptually, it’s exciting for a distaff spy thriller full of globe-trotting and wardrobe changes like this to exist. Less exciting is how perfunctory a lot of this feels when flipping the gender and including all of the genre’s selling points are just base-level assets. Unfortunately, nothing in the film proper ever comes close to being as spectacular as the cast assembled. 

None of the actors are half-assing anything here. In fact, Chastain and company are pretty formidable and fun to watch. It’s the fault of the script that, besides cursory types, doesn’t give any of them much to play. Mace is a loner who doesn’t let anyone in (and honestly, her disguise as a married woman named Ethel has more backstory), Khadijah is a techie with a boyfriend who makes dinner, Marie is another standoffish loner with Daddy Issues, and Graciela is a helpless wife and mother who just wants to go home. Binbing Fan is also there as shadowy Lin Mi Sheng, but she has the least to do. A lot of Mace’s arc does hinge on her relationship with Nick. Chastain and Sebastian Stan are supposed to be former lovers who might still have something between them, but besides these two attractive people trying to flesh out an old romance and sell it, they have very little chemistry. For a plot turn that isn’t as surprising as the filmmakers seem to hope it is, there is one ballsy move that raises the stakes late into the film, and again, if these women were more fleshed out, the weight of what happens could have been even more impactful.

Watchable for the cast alone, “The 355” is such a competently made female-led action film to make you wish it were more than that. The action sequences are kinetic and workmanlike, if overly edited at times (an ongoing issue in shooting Hollywood action movies). Kicks and punches are capably staged, and for the most part, the rapid editing doesn’t always seem to be cutting corners to mask stunt person from the actress. A couple of chases are thrilling, particularly one through the Arcades of Paris that continues into the metro. Just as interesting, though, are the too-brief moments of these four women just hanging out and sharing their “first time” (missions in the field) over beers. Seeing these actresses work together again would be worthwhile, maybe with more character meat and a more stylish director next time. For now, “The 355” is just diverting enough on a first-watch basis, even if it is derivative and pretty disposable. 

Grade: C +

Universal Pictures is releasing “The 355” (122 min.) in theaters on January 7, 2022.