"Moonfall" too respectable, not dumb enough

Moonfall (2022)

Roland Emmerich has starved us long enough for another large-scaled, unabashedly silly pseudo-science disaster movie. But with “Moonfall,” one might still leave a little peckish. Audiences predisposed to how an Emmerich Disasterpiece™ (like “Independence Day,” “The Day After Tomorrow,” and “2012”) works aren’t really going in and expecting supreme intelligence or even three-dimensional characterization. No, “Moonfall” is a popcorn movie through and through, and yet, it’s not as spectacularly rock-stupid as it could have been. This either needed to be way smarter or a few notches dumber. As is, it’s almost respectable and just mildly crater-brained, and that’s not as much fun when Luna is falling.

During a satellite repair mission in space in 2011, astronaut Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) and commander Jo Fowler (Halle Berry) lose one of their own when they’re attacked by a mysterious black swarm. In the next ten years, Brian is a disgraced hero, washed-up and unable to pay his rent, and Jo is now a NASA deputy director. Both are also divorced from their respective spouses as well, Jo’s ex-husband Dog (Eye Ikwuakor) being a scowling, emotionally constipated military officer. Meanwhile, fast-food worker/megastructuralist/conspiracy theorist Dr. K.C. Houseman (John Bradley) has made a shocking discovery even before NASA: something has knocked the moon out of orbit, forcing it to collide with Earth. Oh, and Luna is actually a “megastructure” made by alien tech. Of course, nobody believes K.C. at first, deeming him a crackpot (who does pose as a janitor at the University of California, Irvine to steal information on NASA). He was right all along, though, forcing Jo and Brian to reunite as the world falls into a state of civil unrest. This leaves Jo sending her son off with foreign exchange student/nanny Michelle (Kelly Yu) and Brian’s reckless 18-year-old son Sammy (Charlie Plummer) to meet up with Brian's mother (Brenda Bartczak) and stepdad (Michael Peña) in a Colorado bunker. As long as Brian, Jo, and K.C. take the decommissioned space shuttle Endeavor into space before a tsunami hits, they can save the moon and save the Earth.

Lamenting that “Moonfall” holds no such scientific scrutiny would be like complaining that the “Jackass” movies show too much male genitalia; it’s just not going to change. The script, which Emmerich co-wrote with Harald Kloser (also the composer) and Spenser Cohen, can be forgiven for most of its disaster-movie clichés and hokey parent-child dynamics—the kids really do ruin everything in this movie—but it all begged for a little more self-awareness. Recalling "Deep Impact" and even “Gravity," there is such a sense of déjà vu and repetitiveness to a lot of the spectacle that the best we get is some looter car-chase nonsense during natural disasters, while our astronaut heroes are inside the moon seeing alien holograms and getting the moon's needlessly complicated origin story.

There’s a whole roster of characters to keep track of, none of them as interesting as the actors playing them. Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry do, however, bring a sincere level of commitment and credence to these types. The extent of Brian and Jo’s relationship, which is thankfully kept platonic even when both characters have exes, is their all-in-good-fun disagreement over the lyrics of Toto’s “Africa.” Otherwise, anyone who’s human is just here to prattle on with information dumps like Basil Exposition, including Donald Sutherland for three minutes. Charlie Plummer is actually well-cast as Patrick Wilson’s DNA sharer, while Michael Peña is too good for a thankless role as his stepfather. John Bradley (HBO's "Game of Thrones"), though, is the film’s unsung hero. In charge of comic relief and pro-conspiracy theory messaging, Bradley excels by actually endearing rather than grate as K.C., looking excited to be here as a co-lead. One just hopes he isn’t reduced to inevitably being called the British Josh Gad (who was initially cast in this role).

It’d be great to say that “Moonfall” doesn’t pretend to be more than it is, but it does actually want to have its science jargon and revel in Earth eating it, too. Roland Emmerich seems to be trying to do better (whatever that means), but this time, his movie needed to do dumber. That’s one giant step backward for all of mankind and our destruction-filled blockbuster appetites. 

Grade: C 

Lionsgate is releasing “Moonfall” (124 min.) in theaters on February 4, 2022.