"I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" is just Hell

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009) 

105 min., rated R.

Grade: D

Tucker Max's best-selling autobiographical collection of binge drinking and womanizing anecdotes, which came from a confessional blog, is more shockingly riotous and no-bull honest on the page than it is here on the screen in the outrageous, mean-spirited, very R-rated adaptation of "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell." It's advertised to be “unfortunately based on a true story” (accent on the unfortunate!). As an opening, we're treated to an episode out of “Cops,” where the po-po bang down the door to the infamous Max banging a deaf chick. 

A toeheaded Matt Czuchry with a maniacal, shit-eating grin is Tucker Max, an articulate law student and narcissistic, misogynistic asshole with “game” in getting the ladies who is the mastermind behind taking his soon-to-be-groom best friend Dan (Geoff Stults) for a bachelor party he'll never forget in Salem, Massachusetts to a strip club, along with cynical bud Drew (Jesse Bradford). Tucker picks up women, boinks midgets (sorry, I mean “little people”), insults bee-otchy prudes and ladies that have a little more body cushion than a model. No worry, he learns his lesson and all of his debauchery is given a last-ditch redeeming arc of sappy insincerity. 

Despite some rancid wit, the movie is a buzzkill without the likable sleaze and hilarious shenanigans of "The Hangover." Bradford's misanthropic character—fresh out of a hellish breakup—has such dyspeptic, foul comebacks and quips about date rape and such that are supposed to be ha-hilarious, but they just come off disturbing and abusive. However, his exchanges with a savvy but hot-to-trot stripper/single mom (Marika Dominczyk) register some of the film's smartest and only laughs. As for one of the filthiest, most disgusting comedy gags in filthy, disgusting movie history, ex-porn star Traci Lords hooks up with Tucker and the two of them have a beer, laced with eye drops, have rumbling tummies, clog up the toilets, and well ... let's just say the unappealing cad doesn't quite make it to the bathroom in a clean, fancy hotel. 

Director BobGosse doesn't so much direct as he amateurishly slaps scenes together with a muddy, ugly look and first-timer Nils Parker's script (co-written by the real Tucker Max) shows him off to be an abhorrent human being, but I'm sure he's more charming in person. If you want to find your inner douchebag and see bathroom humor taken to an astoundingly literal level, go to hell where you can catch the cinematic defecation that is "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell."